Happy Thanksgiving…

Okay, fine, not really. But I needed your attention.

We will NOT be holding the annual charity event this year.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and debating this decision. I’ve spoken to friends in the scene. In the end, the choice was clear.

I don’t feel like I need to explain, because the rest of you are living through the same 2020 we are, but here are a few of the reasons:

1.) It’s not fair to ask sexworkers to do free labor right now.

This is the big one, for me. I’m not going to do, or ask my friends to do, free labor right now. I don’t know who has a partner out of work, who has kids/family stuck at her home that make it difficult to record, whose clients fell off the face of the earth and made dents in her income. So I’m just not going to ask anyone to do free labor, period.

2.) I don’t want fans/supporters to feel like they’re missing out.

I know people plan and budget for new charity files every year, and I recognize that it may not have been possible this year. I don’t want people to feel like they have to miss out because 2020 fucked their wallet harder than any findomme ever could.

3.) I’m a healthcare worker, and I’m tired.

I want to say right up front that I have it better than most. I work in an ICU, but I work for a hospital with deep pockets and plenty of PPE, and I take care of babies/children. But this year has been exhausting anyway. I’ve come home after a stretch of days and slept for 12-13 hours. I haven’t done that since I was a teenager! We’ve got an 18%+ positive rate among staff, and it’s scary and draining to have to leave your house and go work in a building filled with hundreds of people, come in close contact to people all day, and know that a procedure mask is all that’s between you and whoever the dumbass next to you partied with that weekend. This charity drive takes a LOT of energy and time, and I am desperately short on both right now.

HERE IS WHAT I WILL ASK OF YOU:

If you can, make a donation to a local organization that helps kids at the holidays. I can’t give you anything in return, but feel free to tweet at me and let me know you did it. Honestly, seeing how generous and charitable our fans and followers are is a HUGE highlight of my year and I’m so sad to be missing out on that feeling this year!

Please consider sending a nice, fat Christmas tribute to the domme(s) of your choice. It’s been a ROUGH 2020, emotionally, for a lot of us. From the election to isolation to finances, a lot of Dommes got slammed. And often, they can’t show you any of the anxiety or fear or rage they felt because that’s not “sexy” and they’ve got to put on a show online. Getting a big chunk of cash will make far more of a difference than you know.

Oh, and wear a fucking mask. 🙂

Give a Little, Give a Lot

It’s THAT time of year again! For a brief few days every year, this incredible community comes together to make some magic of a different kind.

The capacity for selfless giving is something I value more than almost anything else in our little corner of the world.

From the amazing women who take time out of their lives to create sexy works of art for the Limited Edition Store and promote the cause to the hundreds of friends and fans who have donated tens of thousands of dollars over the years… I’m just so grateful and humbled (not a word I use often!) by the Erotic Hypnosis community.

This year we have new files from some of your favorite dommes, a new file from a new domme, as well as all of the old ones you may have missed out on in years past. Charlotte Gray is even offering a chance for one lucky contributor to win a 30-minute custom session!

Oh, and I’m toying with the idea of picking a day and releasing the ORIGINAL 3 loops that were given out at the very first charity event back in 2012 that have never been offered since. These loops are some ultimate collector’s items so I’m still not sure… Stay tuned. 😉

Read more and learn how to donate here!

The 2019 Charity Event is OVER, thank you all SO much!

Ho Ho HO

As promised, the 2019 Charity Drive is HAPPENING. 🙂

First, to the LADIES: Any Dommes who want to contribute to the charity drive this year (whether with a full length file or a short loop, everything is appreciated!) I will need completed files by December 12, a square icon by the 10th would be ideal. DM me on Twitter @emberandether so I can profusely thank you.

All right, now, for everyone…

This year’s charity drive has taken a while to organize. This year, I came to the difficult conclusion that I could no longer donate to the organization we’ve been supporting for the past few years. Last year it cost me over $500 out of pocket to get everything up to them. It’s eight hours of driving and a huge hassle and it’s just a huge waste of money when there are kids in need right here in my area.

Finding a new charity was trickier than it might seem because I have pretty high standards when it comes to where I’ll donate your money. I want to make sure it gets directly to kiddos in dire need with no chance of it ending up in volunteer pockets or any other shady shit.

I have settled on an organization finally, and once again we are as always going to be helping kids who really really need some joy in their holidays this year.

I’m guessing donations are going to little lower-key this year because I’ve spent most of this year adjusting to a new job and not making sexy hypno. This is actually a good thing because I want to make sure I don’t overwhelm my charity with questions and need to ask them for too much guidance for what is most needed (it takes time to build these gift-giving charity relationships, as it turns out.)

In any case, let’s get giving! The charity drive will kick off on December 12, 2019 and will conclude the evening of December 18.

Start checking out the Limited Edition Store now. Everything in there will be available for donations as well as brand new files from some of your favorite Dommes!

More info to come at Thanksgiving (when I actually have 3 whole days off in a row, omfg.)

The One Where Ember Clocks a Submissive Man

I’m too tired to type. Soooo instead I chatted into a mic some thoughts about projecting your submissive nature to potential romantic partners without being creepy or seeming like a doormat.

Alternate title: How to be Attractive to Women LIKE Ember… Because I’m obviously not speaking for all Dommes or all women here. But if you’re on my blog, I’m assuming you are interested in what *I* (and women like me) find attractive.

I’m tired and I don’t edit these fuckers. So listen at your own risk. 😀

I tried to explain anything of relevance, mostly basic medical knowledge, that clarifies my story here. To some of you, it will seem like I over-explained a few things. I get that, but as a counterpoint I will offer that some of the dumbest humans on earth visit my site and ask me questions that make me wonder how they fucking feed and clothe themselves.

(I also sort of feel like I can’t possibly have any deaf fans so there isn’t a transcription. If I’m wrong, drop a comment and I’ll have one of my boys transcribe the audioblog.)

Give, Don’t Take

I tweeted this a few days ago:

I got a couple Curious Cats which boiled down to this:

So what type of rules were you thinking of?

I’m a sub of yours and afraid. If it’s just assholes who send dick picks and demand nudes than I can totally see that.

First of all, I never mentioned any rules. I’m not making rules for dudes. That’s… Well, that’s the opposite of what I want to do. If anything, I want to pay less attention to men.

My reply was that it’s simple – give, don’t take.

I’m going to use one of my wonderful slaves as an example. Here’s how this (silly little!) slave communicates with me.

He ONLY speaks to me when he has a gift and/or tribute to offer. The picture above is the past 10 days. He’s been a bit chatty, as you can see! When he wants to speak to me, he sends a giftcard of at least $25 (oh, and most of the giftcard notes include the order number of a physical gift he has purchased as well!). I reply – genuinely, with excitement. If he wants to say something back? Another giftcard.

He simply GIVES. He never TAKES. He understands (and is fulfilled by the fact) that he will not be catered to—at all, ever.

That right there is a very good boy. If I get a notification from him? Automatic smile. Automatic delight. He brings nothing but light into my life and he takes nothing from me in return. He would continue to give if I ignored him entirely. THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF TRUE WORSHIP.

This sort of attitude is why he hears from me all the time. I once even made him a custom session that he never commissioned, just because I WANTED to. (He might be getting another in the next couple months too. 😏)

So my tweet was about how I am empowering myself to focus my attention on men who live for my pleasure in this way because… simply put… I don’t have to do anything else. I don’t have to make any money here; this isn’t my job. So unlike other ladies (and myself, when this was my profession) I don’t have to cater to men who are anything less than truly selfless slaves.

I am free. Free to be a wicked, impetuous, selfish, cruel, hedonistic goddess. Free to be addicted to my own pleasure, and absolutely indifferent to the needs and wants of men.

So that’s what I meant – give, don’t take – or else you bring nothing to the table that I want to devour.

Lastly, not everyone I engage with has to be my slave, of course! I chat now and again with hypno-subs, engage with a lot on Twitter. I have a whole host of customers over on my other site who are amazing and deeply valued. Plenty of friends and fans say hello, dote on me with a gift now and then, enjoy my work,  etc. ALL of these things are without the Mistress/slave relationship—and they are all awesome! This “give don’t take” musing is solely about those who seek to belong to me as devoted subs/slaves. I’m not doing this for profit anymore, so my tolerance for selfishness can no longer be rented.

(And with impeccable timing, my silly little slave just sent another giftcard. I’m going to go redeem it and tell him to come see how I’ve shown him off here, lol!) 

Christmas, Charity, and Forty Large

A lot of little lights will be brighter this year, because of YOU.

In 2012, on a whim, mere months after I entered the scene I decided to fill my wishlist with toys and asked you to buy them for charity. I gave out 3 loops as thank-you gifts (they are not offered in the Limited Edition Store so if you have them, you are an OG hypnofan of mine!)

That year, $677 worth of toys were bought. I donated them to an organization in MA which supports survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

I had long since lost touch with the truest magic of Christmas, but being able to give these toys to kiddos who were having a really rough Christmas absolutely made my year. And oh boy—I was hooked!

The annual Spiral Seductions charity drive has grown wildly since then. This year, we have files from five different Dommes and guess what?

Adding up all the years, we have crossed over the “$40,000 raised” mark.

This year’s drive will end tomorrow, December 1st, at 11:59pm EST.

(Realistically, I will probably get home from the hospital and crash at like 10pm and not take the drive stuff down until the following morning so people could donate overnight, but I’m only guaranteeing I will leave the donation pages up through 11:59pm.)

Please, please, keep the donations coming! Tell your friends! This is the LAST CHANCE to get anything from the Limited Edition Store for the next 355-ish days!

It’s also your last chance to donate to an amazing cause. We Dommes don’t earn a single cent from these files – it is a labor of love from start to finish. 100% of proceeds go directly to buying gifts for the organization which helps survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

Btw, while most of you haven’t been embittered by life (and have paid attention to all the donation receipts and pictures of packed cars heading for donation that I’ve posted over the years), I can appreciate some healthy skepticism. So for anyone wondering, the reason I say “proceeds” rather than “donations” is that we lose money to processing fees. It’s about 3.5%, but varies a few tenths of a percent each year depending on how many Amazon donations come through since those don’t lose anything.

So “100% of proceeds” means “100% of money that hits my account,” which is $7,554.14 of the $7,819.80 donated as of writing this post.

I also end up having to rent a car and buy gas or (like this year) hiring my handyman to do the 8-hour round-trip drive, so actually this drive ends up costing me money. (It’s so worth it. This is my favorite time of year.)

Thank you to everyone who has taken part, and A HUGE “Thanks, I hate you, but seriously THANKS” to all you last-minute donors who will make tomorrow special. I know you’re out there, testing my nerves, stressing me out, making me wonder what the final total will actually BE. But you’re also the ones who make the last day magical. Pretty please do that again this year!!

I’ll try to update a couple times if I can during the day tomorrow, but I’ll be pretty busy trying not to kill any patients.